Round 10
12 Aug 2024 - 25 Aug 2024
The season has ended for many of our teams, and as we do the Round Ten Roundup why not take a leaf out of the players' books and relax like a pro with the latest in home spa products from Gorenier? Replenish your skin Kry Havoc-style with a Blood Mask, or clear your sinuses, melt your earwax and generally ooze from every orifice while enjoying the Buffalo Biles' favourite Aromatherapy Soak, with a scent that really lingers. We'll start with the Veterans, who are all done and dusted now.
The Veterans kicked off with the only match that mattered, a face-off between Huanchi's Jungle Rumble and the Badlandz Bruisaz where victory for either side would see them take the bronze medal spot in the division. The Bruisaz brought Fungus the Loon and Bomber Dribblesnot to the pitch in the hopes of having the edge, but for two such tough teams it was quite a sedate affair. Neither side managed to hurt the other through good old-fashioned punching, with the sole injury going to a skink who tripped over his own tail.
Still, the Bruisaz must have thought they had it in the bag with a solid touchdown in the first half and a second midway through the second half. A strong lead, to be sure, but that left them without the star power to close out the game. The Rumble staged a heroic comeback with skinks darting through the lines to score two quick goals and grab the draw. That point let them hold onto third place in the table.
And so the final Veteran match, between the Buffalo Biles and the Pink Panthers. The result was immaterial, their places already sealed, but both teams still came out determined not to take it easy. The Panthers have been working hard all season, building a team who work together to provide powerful blocks and staunch defense. The Biles perhaps lack such tidy coordination, but they aim to make up for it with sheer brutality.
The Panthers' work paid off early as they dispatched the Biles' kicker, Grunky Peep, a linewoman taking his head clean off. Though the Biles managed their customary late touchdown near the end of the first half, the loss of Peep led to them fluffing the kick to the Panthers in spectacular fashion, giving the Amazons the chance to equalise before the break.
It was a demoralised Nurgle squad who took to the field in the second half, and despite some good work to even up the numbers on the pitch they were unable to stop the Panthers from scoring a second time for the win. Not the best end to the season for Biles fans, but a great demonstration of the power of an organised Amazon team.
Still, the Biles claim the trophy with only two losses across ten games, and a frankly astonishing +11/+19 record on touchdown and casualties. The Panthers come in respectably in second, with the Rumble in third just above the Bruisaz. The Talabecland Thunder claim fifth while Waldhof Middenheim's early retirement leaves them firmly at the bottom.
Over in the Rookie division, I Balabiòtt hoped for a last chance at grabbing some points and getting off the bottom of the table when they faced Kry Havoc. Sadly the Blood God was thirsty, and unwilling to make do with the offer of some Bugman's XXXXX. The Bloodseekers made mincemeat of their opponents while Rex the Khorngor romped home with the ball, taking the match 2-1 and the Norse fans' hearts as a post-game snack.
Final games also for the Zharr-Naggrund Prophets, who lost 3-1 to the Dark Delvers but took some satisfaction in bloodshed along the way, the Jorvik Vikings, who held the Immortulz Ol Boyz to a 1-1 draw, and the Badlands Da'Baytin Sossayetty who beat the early division leaders the Bright Jugglers 2-0 to overtake them in the table. The Jugglers still have a game to go, but that loss puts them out of reach of the top now.
Current leaders the White Mice also lost their game against the Grave Rubbers. The fur was flying as the Rubbers made sure there weren't enough rats on the pitch to cause them trouble in a very dirty match. The 2-1 victory means there are just two points separating the Mice and the Rubbers with one game still to go for both teams.
More rat-catching elsewhere as the Sokol Slaughterers destroyed the Stink 11s, with more than half of the beleaguered Skaven players leaving the pitch with some kind of injury. The Slaughterers won 3-1 and look likely to finish in the top half of the table, while the Stink 11s will just be glad their season is over.
And Chainsaw Buffet took on Grave Danger, with the pouring rain surely no help for the zombie team. Both sides were extremely keen to kick each other every time someone was on the ground, but they managed to find time for a touchdown apiece to end the game in a draw.
So as we go into the final catch-up matches for the Rookies, all eyes will be on the Grave Rubbers against Kry Havoc, and the White Mice at the Sokol Slaughterers. Which of them can overcome the might of Chaos to claim victory, and with it perhaps the division title? Nearer the bottom of the table, Grave Danger face the Immortulz Ol Boyz, while the Yorkshire Nobs hope to sneak into the top half when they play the Bright Jugglers and the Dark Delvers hope to keep them down with a win over Chainsaw Buffet.
This last round runs until 8th September, and then everyone will have the chance to pamper themselves while they consider their futures. And you too could have glossy hair like the stars of the White Mice, with a conditioner and deep treatment from Gorenier. Look for it in the beauty aisle at your local apothecary!