Round 3

28 Apr 2025 - 11 May 2025

We're past the halfway point and the competition is looking fierce. Let's take a look at the highlights in the Round Three Roundup!

Division 1 commenced with a slugfest between the Grave Rubbers and the Badlands Debating Society. Both sides were committed to punching over flashier plays, with the orcs in particular hitting hard right out of the gate. The Rubbers of course were able to shake off a number of injuries that would have crippled living players, but the loss of a werewolf midway through the first half will particularly sting. Still, the Rubbers managed to assert themselves more firmly in the second half, notching up casualties of their own, a single touchdown to win the game, and the acquisition of a new player thanks to a last-minute murder and resurrection.

The Talabecland Thunder surprised everyone with their strong start to the season in a difficult division, but their starry-eyed fans faced a harsh reality check as they met the unstoppable force of Sanguine Blade. The elves took it slow in the first half, waiting almost until the whistle to take the lead and leave their opponents no chance of reply. In the second half, emboldened by their somehow still having a full complement of players, the gloves came off and they gave a dazzling demonstration of how elves play at their very best. Time after time the Blade stole the ball from their opponents and ran in the touchdown, taking the game 4-0 and leaving the Thunder looking like a damp squib.

Lastly, Bushy's Bonerattlers faced the Blåhaj Blasts, and fans might have been expecting another bloody match with violence on both sides. Sadly, the Bonerattlers seem to be struggling with the concept of blocking lately, showing a remarkable ability to throw themselves at their opponents and end up on the ground. Despite that, in the first half they managed to hold onto the ball and score before they could lose too many players. The Blasts then remembered their dedication to the Blood God and started helping the Bonerattlers on their way, removing several players in ways that couldn't be shaken off. The loss of a mummy for the next game will particularly hurt the Bonerattlers, but despite everything they somehow kept things together to score a second touchdown and beat the Blasts 2-0.

The Grave Rubbers jump into the lead, with Sanguine Blade and Bushy's Bonerattlers both just one point behind. It could be all change next round as the Rubbers face the Bonerattlers and hope to open up their lead, the Thunder look to reclaim their winning ways against the Badlands Debating Society, and the Blasts hope they can break the Sanguine Blade before they concede too many touchdowns.

In Division 2, it was Durakdur Queensguard's turn to host the Saratcens. The rats were no doubt concerned about the effect the death roller would have on them if allowed to run free, and so they scored quickly in the first half and then again shortly after, taking advantage of the dwarves' lesser agility to steal the ball away before they could secure it. The application of bags of cash kept the death roller on the pitch until half time, by which point the dwarves had managed to pull one back. The second half was a much tamer affair, with no touchdowns and only one casualty to keep the fans happy.

Next up, the Renegade Masters took on the Hammer Horrors, with Grashnak Blackhoof stepping up to fill the gap left by the Masters' injured minotaur. In the first half the Horrors seemed to dominate the game with players absolutely everywhere, until it was spotted that they did in fact have twelve players instead of the regulation eleven and a ghoul was sent off in disgrace. Despite that setback, the Horrors continued to hold the game, scoring twice with no reply for a firm victory.

The Nevermore Ravens then faced the Mandalorcians, and with the troll immediately removing a Ravens thrall the vampires opted to waste no time with the ball, elegantly passing it to a runner who ran it straight in to take the lead. They then settled in to defend despite the sudden appearance of the sun, while the orcs set to work on a war of attrition. Despite losing half their players in the first half the Ravens managed to hold off the orcs, and the power of smelling salts brought a number of the team back onto the pitch to start the defence again in the second half. It took most of the second half, but the Mandalorcians eventually broke through to score an equaliser and end the game with a 1-1 draw.

The Saratcens' lead at the top opens up to four points, with the Ravens clinging onto second by a single point. Next round sees the Saratcens taking on the Hammer Horrors, the Mandalorcians facing the Renegade Masters and the Queensguard hosting the Ravens.

After some missed games last time there were hopes for a full set of matches this round in Division 3. The Cordelian Dolphins and the Erebor Giants both missed their previous game, and sadly this time around old enmities surfaced. Reports are fuzzy as to exactly who started it, but a stray remark seems to have turned into a fit of hair- and beard-pulling before the teams made it anywhere near the pitch, and so the match had to be cancelled as all of the players were in timeout to think about what they'd done.

All was not lost for sports fans, however. The Forked Tongues made it back to the pitch to take on the Blitzen Bozos in the pouring rain. The weather clearly didn't suit the lizards as the dwarves tore through their armour like it was soggy papier-mâché. Player after player went down and didn't get up again, with the Bozos removing half of the sauruses in the first half and coming back for another in the second. Though nobody suffered any lasting injury, by the end of the game there were only three lizards left and so it's no surprise that the dwarves also took the match 3-0.

Also braving the rain, the goblins of Goblopolis went up against the Slippery S.O.B.s. The elves were bolstered by a number of temporary hires, but suffered further losses to their permanent roster as their armour proved light enough for even a goblin to break through. But though the goblins proved good at violence they weren't so great with the ball, and the elves managed to cross the line twice to claim the win.

With that the Blitzen Bozos are three points clear and undefeated at the top, but the Slippery S.O.B.s remain on their heels. The Bozos hope the Cordelian Dolphins can keep a civil tongue in their heads long enough to play a match next round, while the Slippery S.O.B.s will face the Erebor Giants and the Forked Tongues take on Goblopolis.

Finally to Division 4, and after some delays the Vvardenfell Harpies faced the Gnawthorn Vermin in a howling blizzard. The skaven fur may have helped with the cold but it couldn't protect them from the sharp end of a dark elf block. The Harpies took the lead in the first half, shutting down the Vermin and forcing them to score faster in the second half, leaving plenty of time to respond and take the game 2-1.

At the other end of the spectrum, the Tinseltown Terrors hosted the Sokol Scorpions for a slower but harder-hitting game. The Terrors had the edge on the punching, with the mummies in particular laying into the opposition with gusto, but it was the Scorpions that claimed the win with another classic 2-1 scoreline.

Last up, Romero's Regenerates came out swinging against the Acomb Ankle Biters, toppling one of the treeman almost before the ball had finished bouncing. With the second tree chopped down in similar fashion before the end of the first half it must have looked like it was all over for the halflings, but with the assistance of Karla von Kill and a particularly bone-crunching kick to somewhere senstive that killed a downed wight the little guys held it together, scoring just before half time and holding their opponents to a single touchdown in the second half for a well-deserved draw.

The Regenerates still hold the top spot, with the Harpies and the Scorpions hot on the chase. Next round sees an undead face-off as the Regenerates play the Tinseltown Terrors, an extremely dodgy-looking match between the Ankle Biters and the Vermin, and a battle to stay in contention for the title between the Scorpions and the Harpies.

With just two rounds to go it's all still to play for out there! Round Four runs until 25th May and could see the first of our titles awarded. Good luck out there, and remember, Nuffle favours the brave!