Round 4
20 May 2024 - 02 Jun 2024
Welcome to the Round Four Roundup, sponsored by everyone's favourite fast food outlet, McMurty's. Keep it classic with the Big Moot, or for a limited time try the new spicy Stinger Burger. If it feels like you're chewing a mouthful of wasps, that's because you are! We'll start with a look at the old folks in the Veteran Division...
The Buffalo Biles' winning streak came to crashing end as Papa Nurgle's blessings failed to protect them from the might of the Badlandz Bruisaz. The team hadn't conceded a single touchdown or casualty in the first three games, but after getting drawn into a slugfest in the middle of the pitch they found themselves expertly dismantled by the orc team. Fans were surely panicking as star player Hingle McCringleberry was taken off on a stretcher, but he showed his star power by reattaching his limbs and stuffing his spilled guts back in ready to take the field again in the next drive.
The Biles keep the top spot, however, after some confusion over match times led to the Pink Panthers failing to show for their game against the Talabecland Thunder until the nobility had already left. Rumours that a small splat of Nurglings were seen giggling in the vicinity of the Panthers' paperwork in the lead up to match day appear to be entirely unfounded.
With both leading teams failing to make progress, Huanchi's Jungle Rumble and Waldhof Middenheim both saw an opportunity to close the gap. The game was an end-to-end thriller, with the Rumble taking the lead only for Middenheim to equalise. It took three attempts before the lizards managed to hold their lead and claim the points. They climb to third in the table in what is proving to be a very tight race.
The next round closes out the first half of the season with the Veterans having played each other once around. The Biles meet the Panthers in a fight for the top spot, the Rumble face the Bruisaz and hope to sneak further up, and Middenheim face the Thunder with both teams glad to be out of the bash mill for once.
The Bright Jugglers kicked off the round in the Rookie division with a typically flashy performance, smashing their way through the Jorvik Vikings' defences to win 2-0. They remain in a commanding position, at least until Nuffle decides the constant success is boring and starts weighting the scales against them.
The only team currently in a position to overhaul the Jugglers are the White Mice, who sauntered past the Zharr-Naggrund Prophets to win 4-0, despite the rat ogre's efforts to remove their own players from the pitch. The Grave Rubbers' strong start seems to have ground to a halt, being held to a draw by the Sokol Slaughterers, and Grave Danger failed to keep up their surprising run with a 2-0 defeat to the Yorkshire Nobs.
In the lower half of the table, the Immortulz Ol Boyz recorded their first win despite the violent opposition from the Dark Delvers, and Chainsaw Buffet played an extremely dirty match to take the win over I Balabiòtt, whose coach learned what it's like to be on the receiving end of endless fouling for once.
Closing out the round with a late kick-off, the Badlands Da'Baytin Sossayetty brought a number of strong arguments for why they deserved to win over the Stink 11s, mostly involving their large green fists and the rats' flimsy armour. The Skaven offered very little in the way of rebuttal, and the orcs leap up to third in the table as a result.
Next round, the White Mice are taking time off to get a shampoo and set on their fur, while Kry Havoc return to the fray hungry for blood. The Bright Jugglers will be looking to widen the gap at the top as they face Grave Danger, while I Balabiòtt continue to chase their first point with a match against the newly confident Immortulz Ol Boyz. The Grave Rubbers will be aiming to stay on the leaders' tails as they take on Chainsaw Buffet, and the Dark Delvers try to revive their campaign with a clash against the Sokol Slaughterers.
Round Five runs until 16th June, just like the offer on the McMurty's Stinger Burger. Why not super-size it and go for the full hornet while it's available?