Round 4

17 Feb 2025 - 02 Mar 2025

The first of our teams are finished for the season, and that means it can only be time for the Round Four Roundup!

With the nigh-unstoppable Sanguine Blade on vacation this round, the other Division 1 teams saw an opportunity to close the gap. The Badlands Debating Society took on the Sokol Slaughterers, and for once the weather stayed nice for the orcs. There was some grumbling in the stands from Slaughterers fans that the Society had been allowed to bring Bomber Dribblesnot onto the pitch, and the first half descended into a slugfest with neither team able to hold the ball for long. A pep talk at half time saw the orcs come out stronger in the second half, clearing the opposition off the pitch and finally running in a touchdown in the dying moments of the game.

The Grave Rubbers then faced the Dark Delvers in what proved to be an extremely one-sides affair. The Delvers started well, claiming the first touchdown, but it was all downhill from there as the Rubbers smashed their weaker opponents while Mister Crowley ran through twice to win the game.

That puts the Badlands Debating Society top of the table, equal on points with the Sanguine Blade but currently taking it on casualties. The Grave Rubbers are one point behind in third, but with all their games played that's where they'll stay. The final round sees the Society and the Blade scrapping it out for the championship, while the Slaughterers and the Delvers fight over the wooden spoon.

In Division 2, things were looking less than fresh with a match between the Hammer Horrors and Bushy's Bonerattlers. Both halves played out in similar fashion, with all players descending on the ball in an almighty scrum and hoping to shake it loose in a favourable direction. Nuffle was smiling on the Bonerattlers, as both times the ball came free for one of their ghouls to claim and preserve their unbeaten record.

The Talabecland Thunder, meanwhile, took one look at their scheduled opposition, the Blåhaj Blasts, and opted to plead continued incapacity. Probably a wise move under the circumstances, as it allowed them to keep all of their limbs.

That point keeps the Blasts at the top of the table, tied on points with the Bonerattlers. They face each other in the final round to see who can keep their unbeaten record. The Horrors have played all their games and end with a respectable mid-table placement, while the final game between the Thunder and the Crusaders has already been cancelled, giving the Crusaders their only point of the season.

In Division 3, the Nevermore Ravens took to the field for the last time this season against the Durakdur Queensguard. What seemed like a nice day turned extremely sunny at the first kick-off, but fortunately the Ravens were well prepared with factor 30000 sunblock to keep them from igniting. The dwarves were aided by Skrorg Snowpelt and hoped to gain an early advantage thanks to their deathroller, but in fact death came early to them when a troll slayer pushed a little too hard and found the astrogranite extremely unforgiving. The vampires scored midway through the half, forcing the deathroller out of the game, but the dwarves settled into the task of removing thralls from the pitch, making the Ravens job harder by limiting their opportunities to snack. It was a valiant effort, but the Ravens contained the worst of their urges and managed to wrestle the ball away for a second score shortly before the end of the game.

Meanwhile, the Mandalorcians took on the Renegade Masters, who were aided by Hakflem Skuttlespike in the hope of finally gaining a point. It was a swelteringly hot day, and the heat must have addled the brains of Gobbo Fett. Normally a master of the sneaky foul, this time he made a clumsy attempt right in front of the ref almost immediately after the first kick and spent the rest of the game cooling off in the sin bin. The Masters struggled to make any real impact on the game, hampered by the heat and the orcs' willingness to knock out anyone who came near them, and the Mandalorcians remembered to send a goblin across the line with the ball right at the end to win the game.

That win guarantees the Mandalorcians the division title, with their final game against the Acomb Transfusions a mere formality. The Ravens will be cheering for the orcs, as a win for the Transfusions could see them steal second place at the last minute. And down at the bottom the Queensguard face the Renegade Masters. A win for the dwarves here could see them reaching as high as third if the other game goes their way.

Lastly, in Division 4 the Saratcens took on the Nuln Oilers in the pouring rain. The rats took a leaf out of the Badlands Debating Society's book and brought Bomber Dribblesnot to the party, plus a fat bag of cash to persuade the ref to look the other way. That forced the Oilers to score early on their drive, giving the Saratcens all the time in the world to respond. Bomber got himself sent off shortly afterwards with a misjudged foul, but the rats scored a comfortable equaliser before the half time break. They then took a leisurely approach in the second half, waiting until late to score the winning touchdown and give the Oilers no time to reply.

The Iron Price Raiders spent their bye round carousing and unfortunately forgot to stop the party. They were due to play the Boom Town Rats but were last seen heading in the wrong direction, singing a rude song about hedgehogs. The rats were awarded the win by default, rocketing up to second in the table.

The Saratcens are one point clear of the rats at the top of the table, but with one game to go they could still be caught. Their final game is against the Toofy Leapers, and a win for Grak and his squigs would put them on top. Also in contention are the Iron Price Raiders, if they can sober up enough to face the Nuln Oilers. A win for them could also see them at the top, if the Saratcens lose to the Leapers. The Boom Town Rats are done for the season, and will be hoping the Leapers and the Raiders both lose to let them hold onto second place.

So there is still plenty to play for in the final games of the season. Good luck to those still playing, and may the odds be ever in your favour!