Round 5

03 Jun 2024 - 16 Jun 2024

Round Five is in the bag, so let's take a look at the highlights and low points, brought to you today by the sporting armourers at Reebork. Whether you're looking for protection on the field, or just want some spikes on your toes to help you kick your way onto those busy rush-hour trains, Reebork will have you covered in style. We'll start the roundup with a look at the Rookie division...

To no-one's surprise, the Bright Jugglers saw off the shambling mass of Grave Danger to claim a fifth consecutive win and continue lording it over the top of the table. Victory came at a cost, however, with the zombies employing the services of Count Luthor Von Drakenborg to clear players off the pitch, including one briefly sent to the morgue only to return wearing Grave Danger colours.

At the other end of the table, the Dark Delvers started strong against the might of the Sokol Slaughterers with an early touchdown, but the Slaughterers carved through the Delvers defences to inflict a couple of very nasty injuries and score twice to take the match. Any hopes the Delvers had of staying off rock bottom were quickly dashed as I Balabiòtt put in a surprisingly brutal performance to outbash the Immortulz Ol Boyz, taking down everyone from trolls to goblins to claim their first league points.

Elsewhere, it was absolute chaos on both sides as Kry Havoc edged out the Zharr-Naggrund Prophets but took something of a beating in the process, and fans of spectacle will have been thrilled by the high-scoring match between Chainsaw Buffet and the Grave Rubbers, though the flying goblins weren't quite enough to stop the Rubbers taking the win.

Finally, the Stink 11s lost a couple of linerats to the tender caresses of the Yorkshire Nobs' ogre, but it wasn't enough to stop them running through in the way only Skaven can to take the match in a clear 2-0 victory.

With that, the bottom of the table is much tighter than the top, with just six points separating fifth place from fifteenth. A change in fortunes for any team could make quite the difference as we head into the second half of the season.

The next round sees Chainsaw Buffet on a team-building retreat at an outdoor adventure centre, while the White Mice return from their break and look to challenge the dominance of the Bright Jugglers. I Balabiòtt will be looking to continue their new winning form as they face Grave Danger, while the Dark Delvers try to turn their luck around as they take on the Stink 11s. The Immortulz Ol Boyz will most likely be looking to counterbalance their current loss of strength with some celebrity assistance against the Sokol Slaughterers, and the Zharr-Naggrund Prophets bring their best intellectual arguments to the field against the Badlands Da'Baytin Sossayetty. The Grave Rubbers look to chase the top spots with a game against the Jorvik Vikings, and it's a mid-table clash between the Yorkshire Nobs and Kry Havoc.

In the Veteran division, fans hoping for an exciting match between the Talabecland Thunder and Waldhof Middenheim were not disappointed, despite the pouring rain. The Thunder came out hard, with an early touchdown hot on the heels of an even earlier casualty. Middenheim refused to bow down, taking two of the Thunder's linemen off the pitch even as they failed to prevent a second touchdown, and pulling one back almost immediately. By half time it was 2-1 to the Thunder with both sides down two players. The second half was a more sedate affair, but while the Thunder's fans may have been ready to celebrate a much-needed win it was not to be as Middenheim found a last-minute equaliser to net them a point. It was not without cost, however, and Middenheim face the daunting prospect of going into their next match without either their star thrower or catcher.

The Buffalo Biles received some gentle words of encouragement following their defeat to the orcs in the last round, and they came back fired up and keen not to let the Pink Panthers steal the top spot. The Biles went through the Panthers like a hot knife through butter, smashing players off the pitch in the first half in a display of sheer brutality before sauntering into the end zone right before the whistle went for the end of the first half. With their bloodlust apparently sated, the Biles went easier on the ladies on the second half, who did their best to mount a defence with what remained of their team. It was not to be, however, and the Biles took a 2-0 victory to hold the top spot in style.

Huanchi's Jungle Rumble will have seen an opportunity, as victory over the Badlandz Bruisaz would have seen them jump the Panthers to take second place and look to challenge the Biles for dominance in the second half of the season. In the battle of the Big Guys, the Kroxigor came out on top, hitting the Bruisaz troll so hard he didn't even think about getting up again. With a touchdown safely put away, and a skink scurrying up an orc's trouser leg to do something very nasty indeed, the Rumble must have been feeling good going into the second half. Unfortunately for them, the Bruisaz got the hairdryer treatment during the break and came back out looking for a fight. Two skinks were soon smeared across the pitch, including the brave warrior that went where no one else dared, and the Bruisaz claimed the draw and ended the Rumble's hopes of rising in the rankings.

So at the halfway stage, the Biles have opened up a small gap at the top but the whole division remains very tight with only two points between second place and the bottom. The teams now begin to face each other for a second time, with a number of grudges to settle. The Rumble will aim to close the gap with the Biles, the Thunder will hope to survive the Bruisaz, and Middenheim will try to remember how to run with the ball and hope Nuffle blesses them against the Panthers.

Round Six runs until the 30th June. And to mark the halfway point for many teams, Reebork are offering great deals on all your favourite teams' merch. Show your love for your team with a Chainsaw Buffet foam goblin launcher, a set of Bright Jugglers balls, or a washable Buffalo Biles mucus bib!