Round 6

17 Jun 2024 - 30 Jun 2024

Welcome to the Round Six Roundup, brought to you today by LucoZoat, the rarest of energy drinks. When you need an extra boost, reach for the LucoZoat! Let's take a look at the Veteran division...

The Veterans entered the second half of the season, facing off in the first of the rematches that offer opportunities to settle old scores from the first half. The teams squared up with a little more experience, and a few more bruises, than in their first round matches.

The first time the Buffalo Biles met Huanchi's Jungle Rumble, the match was entirely one-sided, thanks in part to an early removal of the Rumble's Kroxigor. Sadly for Rumble fans, history repeated itself this time around, right down to the same early removal. The lizards tried their best to prevent a whitewash, with sauruses proving surprisingly nimble at dodging from the pus-slick fingers of the Biles, but to no avail.

The Pink Panthers and Waldhof Middenheim were fairly evenly matched in their first game, but this time around Middenheim were sorely lacking their star pairing of thrower Colenbrander and catcher de Kort, both still recovering from injury. The misery was compounded as they saw another ogre leave the pitch in a hearse, followed soon after by the halfling. The Middenheim coach must surely be getting a bulk deal on coffins by now, and while the team managed to show a little fight here and there it was ultimately an easy victory for the Panthers.

The Talabecland Thunder and the Badlandz Bruisaz likewise drew in their first round, with the orc brutality unable to give them enough of an edge to swing the score. There was no such trouble this time, despite the Thunder managing some early casualties and killing the Bruisaz goblin. That death spurred the greenskinz to violence, taking three of the Thunder's players out before walking in a second touchdown to win the game.

So the Biles remain five points clear at the top, with the Panthers still chasing them, while the Thunder and Middenheim languish at the bottom with five points apiece. The next round sees Middenheim getting back to their throwing game against the Bruisaz, the Rumble working to contain the Panthers, and the Thunder hoping to survive against the Biles.

In the Rookie division, the Bright Jugglers have finally been shown to be fallible as the White Mice sped past them in the way that only Skaven can. One particularly nasty clash sees the Jugglers without their ogre for the next match, so there may be an opportunity for another team to put them in their place a second time.

Fans who favour touchdowns over violence will have been thrilled with the match between the Dark Delvers and the Stink 11s. The end-to-end spectacle finished 4-3 to the elves, with only a couple of injuries as the price of victory.

The match between the Immortulz Ol Boyz and the Sokol Slaughterers was a rather more one-sided spectacle. The Slaughterers tore through their opponents with little mercy, until the orcs only had half a team left with which to attempt a defence. The Ol Boyz have to be satisfied with not suffering any permanent damage, meaning they at least have a full roster for their next game.

Elsewhere, the Zharr-Naggrund Prophets managed a last-minute touchdown to hold the Badlands Da'Baytin Sossayetty to a draw, while a violent clash between the Grave Rubbers and the Jorvik Vikings ended 1-0 to the Rubbers. Sadly, the clash between Grave Danger and I Balabiòtt had to be postponed after Grave Danger literally fell apart on their way to the stadium, but with some glue and hurried stitching they will hopefully face each other soon.

There are now only two points at the top between the Jugglers and their closest rivals, the White Mice and the Grave Rubbers. At the other end, the Dark Delvers' victory has lifted them off the bottom, though that may change once I Balabiòtt play their delayed fixture.

The next round sees Chainsaw Buffet returning from their retreat to face the Vikings, while the Bright Jugglers are away having crisis meetings trying to understand what went wrong in their last match. The White Mice will face I Balabiòtt and the Grave Rubbers take on the Zharr-Naggrund Prophets, both matches that could see the top spot change hands while the Jugglers are out of action. The Slaughterers take on Grave Danger, the Dark Delvers face Kry Havoc, and the Badlands Da'Baytin Sossayetty square up to the Yorkshire Nobs. Lastly, the Immortulz Ol Boyz will be hoping to cause some trouble for the Stink 11s.

Round Seven runs until 14th July. The teams may be starting to flag a little, but they'll soon perk back up with a taste of LucoZoat. Take a drink, and be prepared to answer the question everyone will ask: Excuse me, is that a LucoZoat?